Well, why not? Everyone else is. And I could certainly do a better job (even with my failing memory) than the current holder of the office, who has no memory at all of what he’s said from one day (hour) to the next. So, I’m joining the list of 21 (soon to be 22 when de Blasio jumps in) Democratic candidates. You might consider running as well and others among your friends and family and maybe your French Poodle.
What are the benefits? I can write a book and become rich. Well, I probably won’t become a millionaire like Bernie, but richer than I am living on Social Security. I will get my name in The New York Times, if only because I will be the 23rd or 40th declared Democrat. They may even ask me my opinion about . . . Healthcare for All, the Green New Deal, immigration, taxing the rich and jailing corporate officers for failure to pay taxes. When reporters ask if I believe in the death penalty, I will say yes, for corporations that willfully contribute to climate change. They are “people,” after all. In this way, I will gain notoriety.
And think of the enemies I’ll make: the NRA, Fox News, Mitch McConnell, Lindsay Graham, Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, the list is endless. I might even get a tweet or two from Bonzo (oh, that was another troublesome president), uh, the Orange Menace and a nickname like “Jude the Obscure.” Of course, you will all have to pay me gobs of money and contribute to the 65,000 signatures I’ll need to debate the other 22 or 39 Democrats. Or you could pay me not to run. Perhaps, we might do that for some of the other 22 or 39. Other ideas? Oh, and please let me know if you plan to run. I’ll add my signature, but don’t expect a check until the book revenues come in.